A Brief Comparison of Colds as Experienced in the United States of America and Japan, respectively:

USA
Day 1) Oh, darn, I have a runny nose. Guess I'm catching a cold.
Day 2) Damn, my throat is sore. Stupid nose. Bleh.
Day 3) Hmm, I feel a little better. Yay Dayquil.
Day 4) I'm okay now, just need some tissues.

JAPAN
Day 1, Noon)
Well, I felt fine this morning, but all of sudden, my stomach doesn't feel so well and-*BLAAARGH.*
Day 1, 2:00pm)
OH GOD. OH GOD. *BLAAARGH.*
Day 1, 4:00pm)
*BLAAARGH*BLAAARGH*BLAAARGH.*
Day 1, 6:00pm)
SOMEBODY... Please... kill me... *BLAAARGH.*
Day 2)
*comatose in futon*

Footnote: I am assured by my supervisor and pals at the kyoiku office that this is most assuredly just a cold, not the flu. "The flu is much worse," says Oda-san, visiting me for the third time today with gifts of gatorade, bread, and toilet paper. That said, I am so goddamn glad I've been innoculated against Japanese Influenza that I would do a little dance for joy, if not for-*BLAAARGH.*

_{Happy Valentines Day.}